Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.
1. Think before you speak
In the heat of the
moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to
collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the
situation to do the same.
2. Once you're calm, express your anger
As soon as you're
thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but
nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly,
without hurting others or trying to control them.
3. Get some exercise
Physical activity
can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your
anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other
enjoyable physical activities.
4. Take a timeout
Timeouts aren't just
for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be
stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to
handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.
5. Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing
on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's
messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner
every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own
a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might
only make it worse.
6. Stick with 'I' statements
To avoid criticizing
or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I"
statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example,
say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the
dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."
7. Don't hold a grudge
Forgiveness
is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out
positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness
orsense of injustice.
But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the
situation and strengthen your relationship.8. Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can
help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and,
possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid
sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
9. Practice relaxation skills
When your temper
flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises,
imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as
"Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or
do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
10. Know when to seek help
Learning to control
anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your
anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those
around you.
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